We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize