What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
