How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize