so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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