i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
