The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
