Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I need a burrito and a hug.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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