he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
