whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
