Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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