Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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