I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
