You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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