We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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