i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
