it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
