i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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