Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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