Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
