First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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