just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
