I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize