dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
