She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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