the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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