why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
