Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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