Already got asked if we're dating
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize
