i'm signing you up for texting rehab
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
