escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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