I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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