butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
