Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
