Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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