Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
her facebook's as public as her vagina
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
