I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
