i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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