I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize