even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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