First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
