there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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