Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
So apparently I’m into choking now
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
