BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
