The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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