I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
