some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
