Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Pooping to opera.
Randomize