at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
