They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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