Where did you get a picture of my penis
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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