This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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