We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
her facebook's as public as her vagina
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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