we're blogging at a bar
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
