Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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