I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
