She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
