it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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